That's perfectly OK, Aaron. If you get the DuQuette book you'll see that the painter, Lady Harris, was often made ill trying to paint the cards. Look up the paintings of the Italian Futurists to get a visual perspective on what she was doing. As illustration, they are rich in cutting-edge mathematical and visual theory of the time. Remember that these were painted in a period of great upheaval in Europe and, to my eye, they reflect this well of fear and uncertainty.

Not everyone is attracted to the Thoth. It's said that it's a deck for serious questioning only and I'm not one to disbelieve that experience. It takes a lot of concentration and commitment to get into those images and your guide / guardian angels may want you to just become familiar with the deck for now. One day you may feel like it's time to ask the deck a question and all of a sudden it starts to make sense.